on making decisions

 I hate making decisions. 

Take my idea to redo my bedroom, for example. 

I really want to do it. I have for years. But it would require spending money, something that doesn't come naturally to me, something I am not keen on doing. 

    I am a chronic self doubter and second guesser. To be fair, I have a myriad of opinions...but when it comes to making decisions I am hard pressed for an answer. Please. I say to whoever is around me. Decide for me. I hate making decisions. 

    If I redid my bedroom (a project that I have wanted to undertake since I was, probably, seven) I would want to completely redo it. That's a lot. 

    So I will waffle. I will eventually discard the idea and then return to it later with a renewed hope. It is a cycle which I have carried out over and over in my life. I will make lists of pros and cons and then decide there is too many cons. I will decide I don't want to spend the money. I will decide that this is something important to me. I will decide that I have saved enough, and I will do it. In the end,  I will decide on being indecisive. 

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